Gagne, Garnett, and The Ghost of Larry Anderson

While the buzz of the Eric Gagne & Kevin Garnett trades begins to wane, let’s take a closer look at what The Sox and Celtics gave up to acquire their season altering possessions. Because, as Lao Tzu says, everything is defined by its opposite. Or maybe that was Red Auerbach . . . or possibly Apu on The Simpsons.

Every trade (whether you’re swapping sandwiches or second basemen) must be probed, evaluated, and appraised to determine whether or not you’ve been screwed. Basically you’re sniffing around for the fetid nebulous ghost of Larry Anderson. It was nearly 17 years ago when The Red Sox, looking to bolster its bullpen for a stretch run, traded their best prospect for a set-up man. Mr. Anderson pitched 22 innings for The Sox while Jeff Bagwell, as the world knows, played 15 stellar seasons for The Astros.

Okay . . . so it’s clear that both deals will help the baseball & basketball teams from Boston win, and more importantly, win NOW. The Red Sox now have 3 of the best relievers in baseball to shut teams down. Although Jonathan Papelbon will get the majority of save opportunities, you feel as safe with either Hideki Okajima or Gagne taking the mound in the 9th inning. And in the last two months of the season, where starters begin to show signs of fatigue, having a strong bullpen is an asset that can’t be overestimated. And once the post season begins, those 3 will become even more vital.

As for The Celtics, acquiring Kevin Garnett truly means that have a legitimate shot to get to The NBA Finals . . . in the last 15 years that’s something you couldn’t say or type other than in a punchline. He joins all-stars Paul Pierce and Ray Allen to not only chase a 17th Championship, but also to bring the idea of basketball back to Boston. This is on the magnitude of The Patriots hiring Bill Parcells and then drafting Drew Bledsoe.

So back to the “what we gave up”.

RED SOX

Even though Gagne is a set-up man who will most likely only pitch for us this season, that is where the Larry Anderson comparison ends. Getting him is like cloning Papelbon, and when The Sox lead after the 6th or 7th inning you’ll be able to book that win. And while Kason Gabbard should be a solid fourth or fifth starter (good for 10-13 wins a year), he could also morph into a long relief guy/spot starter. Although David Murphy (hitting .280 with 9 homeruns and 47 RBI at Pawtucket) has the skills to be a great outfielder, Theo & The Gang believed he was expendable because of Jacoby Ellsbury. Murphy will be the guy to watch over the next couple of years. I’m sure he’ll get a September call up in Texas, and will probably win a starting job in 2008. It’s doubtful he’ll be another Bagwell, but sending a top prospect to the Lone Star State still makes me nervous. I will toast this trade, but only with a nice Napa Valley sparkling wine. Or maybe a few pints of Guinness.

CELTICS

Break out the Cristal Champagne . . . this is a trade that if the opportunity was presented, it had to be done. Before draft day I was praying for some sort of deal, something that wouldn’t make be embarrassed to wear my Celtics hat outside of Boston. This is what I wrote in an email to my friend Brian, who was hoping Al Horford would be there when The C’s picked (he went #3):

I'm not so sure Al Horford will be there at 5. If he is, fine, pick him, but otherwise I think they have to work some sort of miracle trade (conjuring up the ghost of Red and his cigar). Because looking at The Celtics as a former fan who has been so disgusted at the team and the NBA in general, another rebuilding year makes me want to toss up the clam chowder I had for lunch. Although it's physically impossible to watch less games than I did last year (zero), I don't think I'll even read an article about basketball or even allow myself to watch highlights on ESPN if they draft a "young guy with tremendous upside".

But the whole structure of the NBA (contracts, free agency, the cap, the lame ass lottery, ect, ect.) is so screwed up how do you make a trade? And who can you get? I don't have the answers to these questions, but it's not my job to know how to do it. All I can say is, for the love of God, just get it done. Make the team playoff ready. Do something to restore even one tenth of their former glory. Because I'm sick of strangers coming up to me when I'm wearing a Celtics hat and saying "I'm sorry".

In 2002 The Celtics came within 2 games of going to the NBA Finals. Pierce was at the top of his game, Walker was clutch, and Jimmy O'Brien had the rest of the team working perfectly into his system. Really, they were a big man away from The Finals . . . and actually having a shot to beat the Lakers. What in the hell happened in five years to make them so horrible and unwatchable? If I'm Danny Ainge, I fire Doc Rivers and bring back O'Brien. You need a coach that will light a fire under these young guy's asses. You need a coach that is going to get his team to play cohesively on offense and defense.

But Ainge, thus far, has proved to be no wiser than Rick "Larry Bird isn't coming out of that tunnel" Pitino. He's already tarnished his playing days by the overall shit sandwich of his GM moves, and if he doesn't put a good team on the floor for the '07-'08 I'm digitally editing him out of all my DVD footage from the Championship years and replacing him with Bob Cousy.

The DVD footage stays as is, and Ainge (with a lot of help from Kevin McHale) now looks like Bill Belichick. What did he part with to land Kevin Garnett? One potential all-star in Al Jefferson, 2 first round picks that won’t be in the lottery, and four guys that couldn’t be ID’d by anyone other than diehard NBA fans. Jefferson will be missed, but nobody can claim The Celtics are mortgaging their future because they didn’t have one. We’ve been looking for a 17th Championship banner for 21 years.

. . . . on July 31st everything looks good on paper (and monitor screen). Now lets keep these positive ions/vibrations flowing once the games begin. I wants wins, lots of wins that give us rings and banners and parades on Duck Boats.